


Choke me like you hate me, but you love me

by Paindepice



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Camboy Boo Seungkwan, Canon Compliant, Exhibitionism, Face-Fucking, Idk man they horny, Irresponsible ways of having phone calls, M/M, Not Beta Read, Porn with a hint of Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 09:47:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28349400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paindepice/pseuds/Paindepice
Summary: Seungkwan is a camboy besides being an idol, Hansol is his top fan without knowing.You can imagine how this situation will end.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 143





	Choke me like you hate me, but you love me

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas 🎄
> 
> It’s just like a vague excuse for me to write smut, don’t mind me~

Vernon is a responsible adult now, a fully fledged one, a successful grownup.

And he knows that porn on the internet is, well, for the most part free. That also means that he could stumble upon the most unprofessional porn ever and he would turn his nose the other way, because he is indeed a picky viewer, so picky he barely ever used porn as material, because of how bad it looked in his eyes.

His pickiness sadly would lead him to break a very important rule that even his friends reminded him about every once and then. 

Never pay for porn.

Which is fair, but at the same time, Vernon is kind of in love with this particular camboy he is paying services for.

To his shame, he even managed to become one of his top fans, which is... a lot of money thrown his way, but when seeing him shove a dildo inside himself and moan so sweetly in front of the camera he can convince himself that it was worth it.

The way in which he stumbled upon this camboy was peculiar.

For once he was passed on to him by word of mouth, a very short video of him sent to his private number by a friend, with the words “I feel like you would enjoy this, happy birthday”. 

He does not talk to that person often, and it wasn’t even his birthday. So that was both out of the blue and weird.

The preview had nothing to it but a black screen, and luckily Hansol was alone in his room when he saw the message. He was kind of curious and a little bit scared, because it could have been whatever else but porn.

So when the screen simply moved from black to white before focusing on a man with a black choker on and a black face mask,  _ and nothing else on _ , he was nothing but intrigued. 

He did enjoy it indeed.

The days after that there wasn’t a moment where he couldn’t stop thinking about it. About his full thighs and soft skin and haunting moans. He was going insane, so much so that he almost screwed up practice to the thought of someone he didn’t even know the face of.

So he had to ask, who it was, where could he find more of that. 

He is not the type to get obsessed with porn, his life it’s at its fullest and he barely has any time to sleep, yet when he does have the time to just relax, that is when he manages to keep doing what, in his opinion, is the stupidest thing ever. 

Pay for porn.

In his defense, it’s not exactly any kind of porn, it’s of this particular person, who opens his legs and moans and has full blown shivers every time he comes, that has the most adorable moans ever, that has the softest looking skin ever, that has the most slender fingers, that has the pinkest nipples ever, and the cutest dick ever. Seriously, talk about an attractive dick, gosh.

It’s a full body exposure of this person, this particular one, that is making Hansol pay every fucking month and not regret it once.

*

It’s just a secret, a small one. A secret hobby no one in the group knows about. He just needs to cover his face and everything else goes smoothly.

Seungkwan is not an exhibitionist, well, not a conventional one. He just likes the risk of it all, the idea that someone will find his profile and say “Huh, this man’s body looks a lot like Seungkwan’s”. But then again, no one really knows how he looks like naked, so he is fairly sure that he is safe on that front.

He still wonders though, sometimes, if one of the members of the group would even be able to recognize him while he is masturbating in a video.

He worries if that would lead to him being kicked out.

Then he immediately forgets about it, the second he reads the compliments and the declarations of love he gets. 

Horny people are a different kind of audience, really. He once read an entire sonet dedicated to how that particular person would like to just be strangled by Seungkwan’s thighs. It's exhilarating and it’s fun, so for most of it, Seungkwan enjoys the ride and thrill of it, still keeping his precautions, of course.

He doesn’t do it for the money though, sure it is an incentive, but he already has the money he needs, and the people that follow him are a small group anyways, so he doesn’t get much either. 

His body is not a cheap thing though, but he has been able to find people willing to pay at a lowest 22 thousand won and at a highest 55 thousand won, the highest tipper even being the only one on the very top, willing to pay that ammount of money for just him moaning like a porn star in front of the camera while fucking himself on a dildo, and the occasional private video where he does what he is asked.

He always leaves a thanks message to the top three fans, just because Seungkwan is not rude, and because he does always thank someone for the smallest things. Also it’s their money he is talking about, they need some recognition for paying for Seungkwan’s fantasy of parading himself in front of a public. An invisible one at that. And also, he does enjoy the compliments.

  
  


Today’s request is nothing too fancy. 

“ _ Just do your thing :) _ ” he reads, a short text with the usual fifty thousand won tip.

Which is oddly familiar, in a very weird way, it is so stupidly familiar how this particular fan never asks for something weird, he just wants Seungkwan to do his stuff, whatever it is. He should be grateful, for not being asked weird shit or anything, but he mostly feels peeved, and slightly pissed. What? Does this fan not believe in his capabilities? He’ll show him  _ his thing  _ goddamit.

So he does something fancy anyways, he pulls a cute pair of lacy panties, puts on his facemask, and does  _ his thing,  _ whatever the fuck that means.

Granted, Seungkwan knows how to be petty, so he does that as the already nominated  _ thing  _ and hopes that the person receiving this videos breaks their fucking wrist for how much jerking off they will do to this particular video.

He sets the camera down in the bathroom, in the empty spot just across the shower, in the only empty spot he has. Right beside him there are a few objects in a box. Lube, a massive dildo, anal beads, a cock ring, just, you know, the standard for making someone swallow their words.

He starts easy, waves cutely to the camera sitting on the floor, gets on his knees, shows the lacy lingerie, if he could he would smile too, but since he can’t, he just sends a small heart.

Then he starts, tries to position himself in a way that won’t show his hair, but that also looks flattering. He starts slow, teases the hem of the panties, caresses the outline of his dick through the lacy material.

It’s a full on show, and he knows he shouldn’t put this much effort in it, but fuck it, they challenged him and now he shall dance to the sound of the war drums. 

Poor fucker won’t even know what hit him, he thinks as he pulls the panties down a smidge, gives a few pumps to his dick, and moans a bit, he considers that maybe his initial plan is a little bit too spiteful, a little bit too much of a reaction to such a short text. But at the same time, he is  _ offended _ that this particular fan never really specifies what they want or ever even sets the bar high, as if Seungkwan pulls out just mediocre stuff and calls it a day, or as if Seungkwan cannot do it. He is a professional goddammit.

He’ll be damned if he is called mediocre any day of his life.

*

Hansol is utterly fucked, he is so goddamned fucked, he is so beyond fucked.

Here’s the thing, when he was asked what he would like he literally came out with nothing, so he just played it off as if he was cool with whatever, he liked the content, he liked the person, he literally would have been fine with just him jerking off on camera, for real.

What he was not expecting, when he clicked on the file he was sent was,  _ this.  _

The anal counterpart of a full on theatrical show, the Illiad of the dildo, the Mozart’s Requiem of moans, the whatever the fuck this was. He was not expecting so much effort, what the hell.

Now.

He knows he already has crossed the line of  _ “I’m the moron that pays for porn monthly because I caught a crush on the dick of this particular camboy”,  _ but with this he is beyond saving, he has fallen, bad, hook line and sinker, as they would say.

Just fucked, mind fucked.

And now he has the hardest boner ever, looking at this man slowly but lovingly shoving anal beads one by one inside of him, jesus christ. He observes how his hole stretches, and then closes again, until every and each one of them are inside.

So if he spends the night rewatching the video and just jerking off to it until his dick says no more, that is a thing that is to be kept between him and god. Only to wake up with only two hours of sleep and the biggest headache ever.

“Yo, you look so pale Hansol,” he hears Chan say, as he enters the practice room. Yeah, yeah he is aware of that, he might have not slept enough and might have one wrist that is like, not working at all, but he is also aware of the fact that he has a job and that he needs to fullfill his duties, even if it costs him his fucking wrist.

Was it worth it? Absol-fucking-lutely.

Would he do that again? Hansol thinks about it for like two seconds, and then decides that, yes, he will.

Which in hindsight might have been the stupidest idea he has ever had, because that leads to the most uncomfortable thing ever, since his friends seem to have a liking for hanging out in his room, or dragging him out to watch a movie together, while his mind still wanders towards the video and how a man can manage to come only twice in the span of an hour of playtime and of fucking himself mercilessly with a dildo and anal beads.

So in the end he doesn’t even have the time to send a message to say thanks or that it has been the best thing he has ever seen in his 21 years of his life.

Which is rude, he knows.

*

Seungkwan is beyond himself when he does not receive news from that fan for like a week. A WEEK! 

He understands it’s just a video and it’s just porn, and he shouldn’t have taken it personally in the first place anyways, but he is pissed that he is not even getting a thank you from them. 

Seungkwan pouts as everyone gathers to watch a movie, at least, he has a life that doesn’t fully revolve around that video. Fucker probably is still jerking off to it for all he knows.

Hansol sits right beside him and Seungkwan finally finds peace of mind and clings to him while the movie plays. Sweet, sweet, quiet Hansol, who wouldn’t pay for porn Hansol, who doesn’t know a thing sweet Hansol. Seungkwan sighs, then tries to concentrate on the movie, while Hansol simply lets Seungkwan cuddle him and pet him and whatever.

Which is weird because he usually makes him stop after a bit, but it seems that whatever is plaguing Vernon’s mind it's letting Seungkwan be touchy and for that, he doesn’t complain.

He is worried though, especially since monday he showed up super pale and tired and passed the rest of the day literally practising with no energy left in his body.

It makes Seungkwan wonder what kept him awake the whole night for him to show up in such a condition.

Vernon sighs once, and Seungkwan ignores it, he sighs twice and Seungkwan’s eyebrows go up in surprise, he sighs a third time and Seungkwan is now looking at him super worried.

“Are you ok?” He whispers, while the others talk and enjoy the movie.

Hansol nods absently “Yea, I think so…” his eyes are far away, not even concentrating on the movie anymore, he just seems… wistful.

“What is it?” Seungkwan snorts.

Hansol pauses, looks at him, for real this time, and then looks in front of him again.

“How do you know if you are  _ in love  _ with someone or if you are  _ in lust  _ with someone?”

Seungkwan blinks, the movie they are watching is not even related to whatever Hansol is asking, so he can’t really blame it on it. It must be the weirdest and the most out of the fucking blue question he has ever heard Hansol mutter. And Seungkwan has known him since they were thirteen.

Seungkwan has a very romantic idea of love, you fall in love with someone you trust or you fall in love with someone that you feel you could trust. It is just like that, you look at them in the eyes and you know that person is the love of your life. For some time he had believed Hansol to be that person, but he can admit to himself that that is a road he is closing himself out of to save his own heart. 

It’s not like Hansol is ever going to reciprocate anyways.

But he is not sure what in lust means.

Before he can answer, Hansol sighs a fourth time and mutters a “Nevermind”.

Seungkwan blinks again, wondering who that person might be.

Who could be the one that keeps Hansol all troubled and makes him question his own feelings? Who is the one that keeps Hansol’s mind wrapped around their little finger? He wants to know, because for how many people he has seen Vernon date, he has never seen him like this.

He is slightly jealous of that person, to be honest.

*

So, the thing with Hansol is, that he either gets tired of something  _ very  _ quickly, or he just clings to a particular thing until the day he will die. For instance, he still has with himself a little trinket his father gave him when he was five, a little sea turtle that he keeps stored in his bedside table.

So when he says that he is clinging to that goddamned video for the life of his it’s because he is. He has a copy of it saved in a secret folder in his phone, he has it saved in another secret folder in his cloud, he even has a copy of it saved in his pc, just in case.

He also managed to finally send a message. A “ _ Thanks! I really enjoyed it!”  _ that still has to receive an answer for after five days of absolute ghosting from the man. 

He had seen him post yesterday, so he must be active, he just decided he is going to give Hansol the cold shoulder.

Whoever this person is, he is not worried about losing his top fan it seems. And Hansol is truly sorry about the delay, so he does something stupid yet again.

He tips, for the second time that month, the transaction going through just as he is watching the others practice for their new comeback. Some of them are sitting on the floor, taking a breather, from across the room he hears Seungkwan’s phone ping, since it’s the only samsung in the whole building, while he wonders if the message he sent was good enough this time.

“ _ Sorry for not being able to answer to the last video, hope this makes out for it :)” _

He knows he can come across as very dry, hell his own group members say that sometimes, and text is never a good thing for him to use with people, because he comes out very cold without even meaning it. But he hopes he is not coming out as rude or passive-aggressive with this one...

“ _ No problem. Do you have any particular requests? Thanks for the tip”  _

Hansol thinks about it, again. In his eyes nothing can really beat what he has been sent that month, so while he tries to wrestle his brain into not thinking about it and get a boner right in front of everyone, he also wonders if he should say the same thing as the other time and hope for the same magic to happen…

“ _ It’s your choice, I am sure I will like it anyways” _

_ “Alright… Just tell me if you want something to be added”  _

Hansol jumps up excited, he said alright. He said alright! Why is he even that happy when he only said yes to a simple request as that, what the fuck.

Is he really in love? Or has his dick taken over and taken full control over his brain?

Knowing himself it was probably a mix of both.

“You look happy,” Minghao looks at him, chewing on his dinner.

“Mh?” Hansol asks, immediately noticing that the grin that has been put on his lips was still there. It probably made him look like a madman.

“Did something good happen?” Minghao eyes him as if he is looking at Hansol through the microscope, in a certain way, he is, Minghao has always been pretty observant.

“Somewhat,” Hansol answers, going back to eat his food.

“Mh… What is it, if I may ask?” 

How to explain to Minghao that he might have fallen in love with a camboy by the way he moves his hips, mh…

“I just received good news, and I won something, just waiting for it to come my way,” he ends up saying. Which is a half-truth, he didn’t really win it out of nowhere, he actually paid for it, but Minghao doesn’t really need to know about his poor economic choices.

“Oh! Must be very good news, since you are smiling since we finished practice,” Minghao adds, nothing really escapes his eyes, and Hansol should not think that Minghao can even read minds with the way he is looking at him, but he does, because Minghao actually has that ability and he denies every time someone implies it. He also looks as if he knows something, but is kind of hesitant to tell.

Hansol nods “You bet,” he says, and Minghao smiles.

He definitely knows something, Hansol concludes.

*

For two days Seungkwan is unsure on what to make, he is torn between sending just a sad video of himself jerking off, or try and outdo himself yet again. For once he doesn’t know how to proceed, because the fan in question actually seems like a nice guy but at the same time it took him a fucking week and a half to answer at all. 

Which is straight up rude.

Luckily for him, Seungkwan is a very lenient person, and he can let go of things if someone actually demonstrates to be sorry for something. And he seemed pretty sorry, considering that he actually paid a second time that month. A thing that never happens normally, especially from a top fan. He is either very rich or very desperate, he concludes.

No matter, the fan has already paid, and so Seungkwan is choosing carefully what to do. He could go for a middle ground, something light but not too much, maybe a cute little outfit. 

While he chooses something from his closet, from a very hidden compartment in it, because he knows other members will just come and take whatever they want from his closet, as if it is normal.

It is, sure, they all have been doing it for years, and bad habits are hard to die yadda yadda yadda, but it also means that Seungkwan has to be extra careful with his stuff. Namely sex toys and other related camboy materials that he really doesn’t want any one else to find.

So should he go for maid or catboy? Decisions, decisions…

There is a knock at his door and Seunghwan has to shove everything back inside, before the door opens.

Hansol’s face pops out of the door frame. “Hey we’re going to buy stuff for dinner, do you want something?” He asks, clearly not noticing the bright shade of red his face has turned.

“Uh. No, no, nothing, thanks for asking.” Seungkwan answers, voice soft and barely calm.

“Are you ok?” Hansol asks, because of course he would notice.

“Yeah! I’m fine, I was just going to go take a shower, so you just took me by surprise.” Seungkwan knows that Hansol knows that he is spewing bullshit, but even then, he just nods and after a few seconds of him looking straight into his soul, he leaves with a “Sure”.

Seungkwan breathes again, noticing just now that he has been holding his breath. Seeing Hansol’s face just before filming something is totally not ok. Especially since he needs to have a clear mind for what he is about to do. 

In the end he just decides not to wear any particular outfit, just because he almost got caught and he immediately got shy about it.

Call him a coward, Seungkwan doesn’t give a shit.

*

Hansol receives the video after dinner.

He did not expect it to arrive so soon, but he is glad he did because at least he is alone in his room and can watch it right away.

The camboy waves as always, and as always his face is cropped out and the parts that he sees are hidden by a face mask. He has seen comments of other fans asking to see his face, and truly, some of them would get off seeing his expressions better, but at the same time it’s not like he is not vocal at all. Hansol at least can get off his voice alone, that much is true.

The setting is slightly different, for once he is sitting on a bed. Wow. 

He was starting to fear for his ass if he would have kept sitting in the ground.

He is quiet, as always, he never speaks, not directly at least, he does moan, but that is as far as Hansol’s knowledge goes in terms of his voice. 

He does have a pretty voice.

The bed looks pretty standard, nothing too out of the ordinary, and Hansol doesn’t really know why he is concentrating so much on the bed and not the person sitting right on top of it.

Camboy is doing his usual teasing, showing a small remote, seems like he is going for a vibrator this time. Hansol wants to look at it hawkishly, but it’s just that something from his bedside table is distracting Hansol.

He can’t see much of it, but it’s enough for him to recognize what it is, and get distracted all over again.

In his long quest of finding an appropriate gift, he had stumbled on a site that sold personalizable candles, which, fair, is not the most  _ original  _ idea ever. But Seungkwan did mention that he had trouble sleeping, and it did cost him a pretty penny to personalize this one in particular, from the fragrance to the color to the packaging. 

He still remembers everything because he minutely searched for every detail.

Apparently orange scented candles help with anxiety and are a natural sedative, he didn’t know, now he does because he looked it up.

He made engrave in the jar two things, one side has a stylized picture of Bokkeu and the other has the characters “SK _ ” _ , white on black, both sides.

So why in the world, did that person have such a personal gift that Hansol gave to Seungkwan on his bedside table.

In the span of one minute he goes through the five stages of grief.

_ Denial _

Well I mean, he could be a fan, a very weird one at that, a very stalkerish one, since the candle was not ever mentioned by anyone ever, and the only way he could have known about it is if he was a sasaeng. Unless… it wasn’t a fan, and it was truly Seungkwan...

_ Anger _

Why the fuck... WHY THE FUCK IS SEUNGKWAN A CAMBOY ANYWAYS? Did he need more money? Why didn’t he ask for the help of his group members? Why would he sell his own body for money? All respect to him, but if someone finds out about it, they are all FUCKED!

_ Bargaining  _

Should he send him a message? Maybe they should talk about it… He thinks while Seungkqan keeps going on his phone. 

He should probably turn it off… Or not, he did pay for this after all…

_ Depression _

Why did he even pay for it? He is such a fucking idiot… He has been seeing his own best friend do all these things and he didn’t even know… He should stop now. He probably should stop and disappear from the earth’s surface and never ever come back. How will he see Seungkwan in the eyes now? 

_ Acceptance _

Alright… It is what it is, he probably should talk to Seungkwan right away. Yeah! Talk to him and… talk… Just talk. Never mind the gigantic boner he has in his pants right that moment.

They will just talk, he thinks as he locks his phone and moves out of his bedroom. 

They will just talk and nothing else, he says as he stands in the elevator that leads him to Seungkwan’s floor.

They will just talk and nothing else because that's the right thing to do, he musters, as he passes Jeonghan and Mingyu on their way to Seokmin’s room.

He is so far deep into his thoughts that he doesn’t notice the sounds that are coming from Seungkwan’s room until he opens the door. 

Granted he should have knocked, since he is now face to face with Seungkwan, who is red faced and wide-eyed, dick in hand and coming so harshly he can manage to look at Hansol for a mere second before he has to close his eyes and collapse on his bed.

  
  


Seungkwan takes one breath, two breaths, and then promptly sits up, as if he just realized he came right in front of Vernon. Who is standing in by the door, mouth open and immobile, like an idiot.

Alright. So he might have fucked up just now.

Time to say something clever to save the situation.

“We need to talk” he stupidly says, closing the door behind him, locks it up, just for precaution.

Seungkwan looks like he is trying to come up with something to say, torn between anger and shame, probably.

“Hansol… What the fuck?” It’s all he says.

“Yeah, right so…” what to say, what to say? He tries not to look at Seungkwan, even though by now there is nothing he hasn’t seen anyways but Seungkwan it’s waiting, covering himself at the best of his capabilities.

“Uh…”

Blank.

Seungkwan rolls his eyes up to the sky, clearly annoyed now.

“Can you get out if you really have nothing to say? I was in the middle of something, as you could clearly see”

Hansol snorts “From what I saw you were pretty much done”

“Alright, whatever.” 

“But I actually have something to tell you,” Hansol moves closer, willing himself to calm down for the sake of looking unbothered by what he just saw.

“Uh, the candle,” he says, pointing towards the object sitting on the bedside table, confirming exactly what he was already pretty sure of.

“Huh?” Seungkwan looks at it, then looks back at Hansol, like he is insane.

Hansol is probably going insane indeed.

“Next time you make a video, make sure not to have something in the background that could possibly lead to you” 

Seungkwan looks at Hansol, Hansol looks at Seungkwan, there is silence between the two for a few seconds.

“What?” Is all Seungkwan has to say, as Hansol moves right in front of him.

“The candle, Seungkwan, the candle” he repeats, as if the fucking candle it’s going to solve the situation they both dug themselves in.

“So… You saw the video, and the thing that gave me away in your eyes was that candle?” Seungkwan asks.

Hansol nods.

“Not the familiar setting of my room? Or my bedsheets? Or like, you know, the fact that it’s  _ me  _ and that you know me for years now”

Ah.

It is clear to Seungkwan that Hansol has a moment in which he realizes that he has been a pretty big fool, and that is when he laughs out loud like it’s the funniest thing ever.

He is indeed a fucking idiot.

Seungkwan stops and then looks up at Hansol, a weird and new glint in his eyes.

“So uhm, I get that you wanted to tell me this  _ very important  _ piece of information right this moment. But is the boner ever going to join the conversation or is it going to get out of the room anytime soon?” Seungkwan side-eyes the tent in Hansol's pants, which by the way, is right in front of his face, since he is still sitting on the bed and Hansol is still standing beside him.

“Oh shit, sorry, uh,” Hansol goes to cover himself, as if he just noticed that he has been doning a big hard-on since he came out if his room, praying to all the gods that he didn’t traumatize the people he met on the way to Seungkwan’s bedroom.

“It’s alright,” Seungkwan says, still looking at Hansol with the same glint in his eyes.

“Can I… Use your bathroom, for a second?” Hansol asks. 

Seungkwan blinks, then stifles a laugh. 

“So you just found out that the person you have been paying money to film porn for you is right in front of you, and you decide that the best course of action to relieve yourself is still masturbating in the bathroom?” 

Hansol freezes. Has it not been clear that he is not using his brain, that it has been liquefying from his ears the second he saw Seungkwan come on that bed, or does he need to subdue himself for another five seconds of Seungkwan’s laugh?

“... Yeah” he answers slowly, because yeah, he still wants to protect Seungkwan’s honor, even though there is literally nothing to protect at this point, Hansol has seen every single dirty trick up his sleeve over the past months.

Seungkwan hums, looks up at Hansol, presents his neck to him, and then asks “May I join?”

Hansol blanks out, looks down at Seungkwan and proceeds to forget how to talk. Seungkwan is looking up at him like always, big brown eyes tainted with the slightest shade of mischief, red tinted hair slightly wet from sweat, and Hansol realizes two fundamental things right that second.

One, is that for how much he is seeing Seungkwan in a different light now, he also still remains the same. He still sees Seungkwan as his friend, he still sees him as someone he can rely on anytime, whatever the trouble is.

Two, he is so horny he thinks he might explode, he literally feels like he could combust any second. And if Seungkwan is offering his help, Hansol doesn’t really know why he should say no to that.

  
  


He just acts, at that point, because clearly he already has made a big fool of himself enough with words. He lifts one hand, grasps the back of Seungkwan’s neck and pulls him towards his groin. Not exactly the classiest of moves, he knows, but since Seungkwan doesn’t complain he takes that as a small victory for his already shattered dignity. He definitely feels like a caveman, shoving Seungkwan’s face between his legs and expect him to understand what he wants.

“Alright, got it” Seungkwan mumbles, lips pressed against the fabric of his pants.

Seungkwan is a tease, a very cruel one at that, and Hansol knows because that is one of the things that intrigued him to start following him.

Yet, this is beyond fun teasing and straight up torture, how Seungkwan passes his mouth over the outline if his dick over the pants, how he gives it open-mouthed kisses over the material, but still not freeing ot from its restrains. How he still looks up wide-eyed at Hansol as if he is doing the purest thing ever.

God.

He thinks about other stuff, because he might be on the verge of cumming in his pants at that rate, and he doesn’t want that, he is not 16 anymore, what the hell.

Yet he takes one deep breath when Seungkwan’s fingers finally pull down the hem of his pants, and starts stroking his dick. Root to tip. Seungkwan looks up one last time before through his lashes, before he gives a small peck on the tip. 

Hansol sighs, involuntarily strengthens his hold on Seungkwan. He is a patient person, he is the most patient person he knows, but now,  _ right this second _ , he is gathering every ounce of self-control he might have in his body, just for Seungkwan to do his stuff and for him not to jump Seungkwan.

His lips part prettily, as Hansol pushes his dick inside Seungkwan’s mouth. Hansol has had thoughts before, about Seungkwan’s lips, about how soft and plush they look everytime he looks at them, about how warm they would feel, but of course he had to push it all down, because it was bad to think about Seungkwan in that way. 

They are friends.

But now, with Seungkwan chocking and slurping on his cock he wonders if having those thoughts now is the right thing to do. They are still friends, right?

“For the love of god can you stop thinking? Your thoughts are so loud I can actually hear them!” Seungkwan complains from beneath him. 

Hansol laughs, because, yes of course Seungkwan would be attentive at how Hansol reacts.

“Sorry,” Hansol mutters.

“Good, now fuck my mouth”

Well that was a good incentive to finally turn off his brain.

*

This time Seungkwan actually surrenders all kind of control to Hansol. His jaw goes slack, and he barely moves his head, confident on the fact that Hansol will catch up on the idea, since he already has one big warm hand wrapped around the back of his neck.

It starts steady, the rhythm of Hansol’s dick hitting the back of his throat barely a challenge, he probably is testing the waters, from what he can feel, see if he can withstand it without gagging, maybe.

Well surprise surprise, he can.

Hansol makes a sound, a deep throated sound that makes Seungkwan feel very fuzzy, because if there is one thing he might lose control over is Hansol’s voice. 

Seungkwan moans as Hansol keeps gaining momentum as soon as he notices that he can indeed go harder.

If Seungkwan was a better man he would have made this easier for Hansol, he would have sucked and moaned, but at the same time he still is kind of pissed that he entered without even knocking, presenting his pretty face to him as soon as he reached a climax. Not cool Hansol, not cool.

He feels Hansol’s grip loosen around the back of his neck, and Seungkwan is pretty sure the man is going to come in the next five seconds, so he does something.

As soon as he feels his dick twitch, as soon as he hears a hitch in Hansol’s breath, that’s when he pulls out, making Hansol come all over his face. If he is lucky he doesn’t get hit in the eye by his cum.

“Fuck, oh my god,” he hears Hansol moan, as he empties himself all over Seungkwan’s face. He does one last thing just because he is a bastard and he needs Hansol to suffer a tiny bit. 

He pretends to come closer to his dick to clean it up, he wraps his lips around the tip and  _ sucks  _ as it is deflating. Hansol make a honest to god sound so guttural as if he has been punched in the gut, something like a “ _ Ooooouuugh _ ”, before he pushes Seungkwan’s face away from his dick.

Seungkwan laughs, because it was honest to god such a funny sound coming from Hansol.

Hansol pants, looks at Seungkwan’s face, that by now it’s feeling all kinds of sticky, and he freezes for like two seconds.

“What?” Seungkwan asks, and just because he is feeling all kinds of cheeky he adds “Something on my face?” 

Hansol blinks in his fucked out stupor, as if it’s taking him some time to process his thoughts and actually connect them to his mouth.

“Yeah… You look…” stupid? Gross? Probably gross, he does feel like the skin in his face is getting pulled the more he waits to wash it 

“Very pretty,” Hansol concludes, and Seungkwan blinks.

It’s so shameful that he actually blushed at that, before giggling like a fucking idiot.

“You moron,” Seungkwan says, getting up and running to his bathroom.

Seungkwan washes off his face, finally breathing when he manages to get everything off his skin, even the cum that was resting in his stomach, while Hansol stares at his back from the bathroom door.

“Can I ask you why?” Hansol says in the end, as Seungkwan turns around.

“Mh? Why do I do what I do?” Seungkwan continues

“Yeah” Hansol answers, while Seungkwan pushes him towards the bed, he walks backwards for a bit, before the back of his knees hit the side of the bed, just then Seungkwan pushes harder, making Hansol fall on the mattress. It’s a soft one, a very good mattress that Seungkwa had to pay a lot for, but not even once in his life has he regretted paying for it, it is a very good mattress.

“Well, it’s fun,” Seungkwan mutters, lying down right beside him, nevermind that he is still naked and should be feeling cold by now.

“I like the thrill of it,” Seungkwan adds, Hansol hums as if he gets it, but he probably doesn’t, not fully at least. Seungkwan gets it, one small misstep and he could be in such a gigantic scandal he can actually see the headlines already.

_ Idol sells their body for money??? Sordid scandals at Pledis!!! _

Ugh. Stupid.

They look at each other for a bit, in silence, before they both start laughing again, what the hell. It’s so tense for no reason, at least Seungkwan is glad it was Hansol that found out about it and not someone else. He is lucky.

“Should we kiss?” Seungkwan asks, because, uh, why the fuck not.

A grin lazily forms on Hansol lips “Oh I don’t know, should we?” He says, as he moves closer to Seungkwan.

“Uh, yes? What kind of answer is that?”

“If you knew the answer why did you ask me?” Hansol laughs, his lips mere millimeters away from Seungkwan’s. He is still smiling, which is a good sign, but it also takes away the breath off Seungkwan’s lungs. Oh he has it bad now, all those years of hiding away his feelings and for what? He feels wronged by the universe for not understanding that he could have done more with them.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because there is a thing called consent and I wante-“ Hansol shushes him before he can embarrass himself, apparently there can only be one of them with the honor shattered and Hansol seems to want it to be him, so Seungkwan lets it go and kisses him back.

Hansol passes his hands on Seungkwan’s skin, as they kiss, as their lips brush and their tongues tangle. It feels unreal, as if Seungkwan is having a very vivid wet dream, but the warmth the Hansol irradiating is proof that it is not a dream indeed.

Just as they are going to further things up, Seungkwan’s phone rings, talk about being cockblocked by a phone, he thinks.

Hansol kisses his jaw, his neck, the side of his mouth, as Seungkwan checks who it is.

Mingyu. 

He huffs, ready to ignore the call and simply go back to the very horny man that is on top of him, but Hansol seems to have other plans simply whispering “Answer it” into his skin.

Seungkwan blinks, but does as he is being told, just out of curiosity.

“Hello?” Seungkwan answers, on the other side he can hear music and laughs and voices.

“Heey Seungkwan-ah,” Mingyu says from the other side, from how he speaks, Seungkwan can bet he is just slightly inebriated.

On this side Hansol is being every kind of distracting, kissing and gently biting every piece of skin he can find. Seungkwan lets him because he is a gentle flower and also because he still cannot believe Hansol is even giving him this kind of attention.

“Hey, what is it?” Seungkwan continues, as Hansol moves away from him for a second, letting him breathe.

“Nothing, just wanted to chat,” Mingyu answers, Seungkwan can actually hear the smile in his lips. What a sweetheart.

“Also I wanted to know what happened with Hansol,” he continues, and Seungkwan huffs, because for a second he fell for Mingyu’s apparently sweet persona.

As if on cue, Hansol is back, a bottle of lube in his hands, as Seungkwan looks up at him with even more questions just at the tip of his tongue.

“So?” Mingyu asks from his phone. Fuck. He can only do so much.

“Nothing he just wanted to ask me something,” Hansol is looking, actually reacting at what Seungkwan is saying, smiling sweetly as he opens the bottle of lube. What the fuck is he planning?

“Ah… Is that all? What did he ask you?” Mingyu insists.

“Uhm…” Hansol gestures him to keep going, one hand already wet with lube “He… Had a question about the song for the next comeback” Seungkwan drawls, as Hansol holds his dick in his hand, he tugs at it and Seungkwan stiffles a moan.

Fuck.

“Really? Did you notice something weird when he came into your room?” Seungkwan mentally begs at Mingyu to just stop talking and end the call, but he just  _ keeps asking questions. _

“What do you mean?” Seungkwan whispers under his breath, as Hansol twists his hand and passes a thumb over the head of his cock.

Seungkwan sighs, then looks up at Hansol, who has the most shit eating grin he has ever seen on his face. They lock eyes as Mingyu says “Well, he seemed very flustered for some reason, so I thought maybe he was mad at you?”

Seungkwan actually laughs at that “Mad at me? And why would he be mad at me?”

Hansol drops down, bites one collarbone, and then moves his mouth over Seungkwan’s cheek, his lips barely touch the soft skin there.

“I don’t know, maybe you guys had an argument, it’s not like it would be the first time anyways,” Mingyu grumbles. “In any case, I just wanted to ask, was worried about the both of you…” Mingyu gasps as Hansol chews on his ear “Is he still there?”

“Is he still here?” Seungkwan asks, out loud, just to know what Hansol wants him to say.

“Yes,” Hansol whispers in his ear, his voice doing unimaginable things to Seungkwan’s gut.

“Yeah” Seungkwan answers “He is here”

“Oh cool, that’s good, since he wasn’t here with us, I figured that he would be still in your room” Mingyu says, a hint of teasing in his voice. Oh if he only knew.

Mingyu asks something again, but it overlaps with Hansol’s “How many fingers?” and Seungkwan’s brain blanks out for a second.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” He asks both of them.

“I asked if you wanted something tomorrow for lunch, I was actually planning to go out with Chan, Minghao and Seokmin.” Mingyu answers.

Hansol whispers the same question, and it takes Seungkwan several seconds to actually understand what he means.

_ How many fingers do you usually prepare yourself with. _

Seungkwan looks back at Hansol, as he answers “I don’t know… Where are you guys going?” 

Hansol should know the answer to that, but he concedes and makes a three with his fingers as he goes back to talking with Mingyu. Whatever, it’s not like he cannot handle a phone call and one finger prodding at his ass. He can do it no problem, and if Hansol thinks he can fluster him in front of Mingyu he is so fucking wrong.

He thinks just as Hansol kisses one of his thighs so lovingly, before spreading his legs some more.

“We’re going… mh… Hey! Seokmin, where are we going tomorrow?” Mingyu asks from the other side, Seungkwan hears a muffled voice answering, while Hansol slowly pushes one finger inside of him. Seungkwan barely flinches, as he waits for Mingyu to get a definitive answer.

One finger, no problem.

The second one comes not too far after, while Seungkwan hears Mingyu asking the same question again, as if Seokmin did not hear him from across the room. Seungkwan sighs, looking at Hansol with a bored expression. 

Two fingers are nothing, he thinks. 

Hansol is looking very closely, Seungkwan can actually feel his eyes burning holes into his face, for how much he is staring, he scissors the two fingers and Seungkwan gapes a little. Ok maybe, maybe two fingers were something. 

Mingyu does give an answer, but Seungkwan is distracted and doesn’t hear what he says.

“Mh, I guess I can join…” Seungkwan mutters, as Hansol starts moving his fingers in and out Seungkwan. Fuck.

“So what are you guys doing?” Mingyu is fucking relentless, just as Hansol is, for how much he is finger fucking into Seungkwan.

He just hopes the wet noises are not audible through the phone.

“We are just talking… Chilling as Hansol would say…” Seungkwan slowly answers, as Hansol picks up his pace. Seungkwan sighs, barely keeping his voice straight, scrunches up his face, not letting the pleasure overwhelm him.

“Ah… Well If you guys want to join after you’re done feel free to do so! I even prepared some food” 

Hansol pushes in a third finger, and Seungkwan bites his lip, preventing any sounds from escaping his mouth. 

“Sure… I’ll let Hansol know!” He answers, hysterical, Hansol has not stopped once, keeps his pace fast and brutal, as Seungkwan slowly loses his sanity.

“Yo by the way” Mingyu adds, and Seungkwan actually wants to scream because Mingyu never fucking talks this much with him on the phone. It’s almost as if the universe wants to fucking punish Seungkwan for fault he doesn’t have!

“Whaaaat?” Seungkwan moans, and immediately covers his mouth with his hand. That could be a good incentive for one of them to stop, either Mingyu or Hansol, but neither of them does, and Seungkwan fucking hates his life.

“Do you know that place just around the corner?” Mingyu drawls, of course inebriated Mingyu would not fucking understand that Seungkwan has literally more important things to do than to talk about the store around the corner.

“Mh… What about i-t…?” Seungkwan asks, trying to keep his composure, as Hansol keeps going, dark eyes looking up at him.

“I wanted to buy something from there for dinner the other day…” 

The domesticity of what Mingyu is saying clashes so much with what Hansol is doing to Seungkwan currently. He literally wants to scream.

Yet, he hasn’t been this excited since he put up his first video on his private camboy page, it’s so thrilling Seungkwan might actually cry.

“But can you believe that the items there are so expensive? Yesterday…” Mingyu keeps rambling about some fucking ingredients he needed or something, while Hansol pulls out his fingers. For a second Seungkwan feels like he could finally breathe normally again. That is until Hansol whispers a “Ready?” in his ear. 

“Do you get me?” Mingyu ask.

Seungkwan nods furiously, fuck it, fuck it for real, he might go to hell for this but goddamit he needs this. 

“Yeah, yeah I absolutely do,” Seungkwan says, as Hansol spreads his legs, pulls them on top of his shoulders and puts a pillow underneath Seungkwan’s back. How thoughtful.

“And then the lady told me something about this other place, that by the way is on the other side of the city…” Mingyu kept going in his ear, as Hansol slowly pushed his dick inside of Seungkwan.

“Mh-hm” Seungkwan hums, as he feels the friction if Hansol’s slow pushes inside of him. He hums one more time when he feels Hansol’s hips against his skin.

“And then when I got there the dude told me that he actually didn’t sell those! So now I feel swindled by that old lady…” Seungkwan bites his lips as Hansol starts moving, at a slow pace first. He truly wants to just moan and let Mingyu know that he is busy, but he has dignity and doesn’t want to scare his poor friend like that. 

“Mingyu…” Seungkwan says, and Hansol pulls out just until the tip is inside, thrusting in with all the might he must have in his body. Seungkwan whimpers.

“Don’t say his name,” Hansol whispers in his ear.

“Yeah?” 

“I-“ Hansol doesn’t stop, starts picking up a steady pace with his hips, and Seungkwan thinks he might actually lose his mind right that moment.

“I need to go-“ Seungkwan says, as he barely keeps his voice steady.

“Alright, byeeee” Says Mingyu, just as the call ends, Seungkwan lets out an exasperated sound.

“Though you were going to be on that call forever,” Hansol pants, grinning as Seungkwan looks at him with all the venom he has in his body. 

“Fuck youuuuu,” Seungkwan hollers from underneath him, no sentiment at all behind his words. Hansol laughs, all pretty and unfairly perfect, and Seungkwan moans once again.

Hansol keeps Seungkwan’s legs steady over his shoulders, folding him more and more as he picks up the pace, just until it’s Seungkwan now the one that is holding his knees while Hansol thrusts in him, looking directly at where their bodies connect.

“Look at that,” he mutters “You’re sucking me in so greedily.” He says over the wets sounds of their bodies connecting.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up” Seungkwan says, he feels feverish, and so ready to burst, just one more word from Hansol and he is so gone, he knows that.

“Mh? What? Getting shy?” Hansol pinches one nipple, punishing him a second time. Seungkwan gasps, he can actually feel himself getting all twitchy from the over-stimulation.

“N-no,” Seungkwan gathers all of his strength to answer. __

_ Think about green prairies and pink flowers _ he tells himself, trying to calm himself down from the unrelenting climax that is forming up in his belly. 

Hansol pushes in once more, hitting the jackpot right on his prostate. 

Seungkwan gasps, moans open mouthed as Hansol keeps thrusting right there. If anyone is outside there is no way they don’t know what him and Hansol are up to now.

“Come on, Seungkwan,” Hansol says, voice so low and strained, that it makes Seungkwan's chest flutter in his desperation.

Hansol keeps his pace, and Seungkwan cannot for the life of him keep calm, he cannot keep it in anymore, he pours everything out, violently coming all over his stomach, the intensity of it all making him go limp right after that.

Nevermind that Hansol is still thrusting, one step away from coming too. He hears Hansol grunt, like a beast, and come inside of him, the movement of his hips coming to an end like a dying engine.

For a moment they both just gasp, Seungkwan looks up at his ceiling, absently thanking whatever god is up there that he has had a good fuck in god knows how much time. And that it is Hansol out of all people. Crazy, perverted Hansol.

Hansol moves away from him, leaving Seungkwan all cold and sticky, while he rummages in Seungkwan’s bathroom.

“Where did you get it from?” Seungkwan asks, as Hansol comes back with a damp towel. 

Hansol blinks tiredly at him, confused for a second.

“Huh?”

“The page, how did you find out about it?” He continues, as Hansol sits down once again on the bed.

“Ah… well… a friend sent me one fo your previews. I think it was a prank, but he actually nailed down in the head my tastes, I guess” Hansol answers timidly, as he cleans up Seungkwan’s body. It feels very intimate, the way Hansol touches him now, warm hands passing through soft skin. He feels cherished, which is a very cute concept, coming from Hansol.

“Ah… I see,” Seungkwan answers.

It’s still awkward though, he thinks, as Hansol goes back to the bathroom and comes back out to lie down besides Seungkwan. There are some things they need to talk about still, like for example at what level is their friendship at now, if this is a one time thing or if this actually something they can work with.

Seungkwan is hopeful, especially since Hansol wraps his arms around Seungkwan and lets him rest his head on his chest. It’s nice. He is hopeful because it  _ Hansol  _ and because they have had this thing of dancing around each other since they were thirteen, and now that the cards are on the table, he feels like they can actually have something more than whatever the fuck just happened.

Because he likes Hansol, and Seungkwan is now quite sure that Hansol likes him back. 

Seungkwan looks up at Hansol, at the perfect shape of his jawline at the open and docile shape of his eyes, at the straightness of his nose and the pink color of his lips. The man is perfect, and Seungkwan feels giddy. Hansol doesn’t open his eyes, but he does kiss him one last time, soft at first and then dirty. What a dichotomy.

Yeah, they can work out whatever this is, Seungkwan thinks.

**Author's Note:**

> My [Twitter](https://twitter.com/paindepice_sv7?s=21)


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